I’ve learnt a lot about this term lately, the most interesting was that every mum I have spoken to has felt this in some way or another. This week was the first time I dropped Sophia off at nursery for a FULL day. I can’t tell you the overwhelming feeling of guilt I had. She was fine, I saw this in her settling sessions which were more for me than her! One of her first sessions she ran off without looking behind her once and so I popped my head round the corner and she was already a whole forearm deep in paint, standing on a huge bit of paper and smiling her head off.
I feel guilty because I love spending every second with Sophia and I feel so incredibly lucky that I get to spend these special young years with her, watching her grow. I feel like we have an unbreakable bond but… it’s HARD. It’s hard for any mum as every second is thinking about them, our job is around the clock and it’s exhausting not only physically but mentally. Not to mention I have the most energetic on-the-go child I have ever seen, she has been called ‘rocket’ and ‘a Duracell bunny’ by many…she just doesn’t tire out and being 7.5 months pregnant I am really struggling to keep up.
Ok, so now I have just justified my mum guilt to myself and you…it leads to my dog mum guilt! Yup, it’s totally a thing and just when you think it’s acceptable to have mum guilt for your child you realise you can also have it for your dog whether you realise or not. Strangely, I realised the guilt I was feeling when Sophia was at nursery because it made me see how little time Frank gets 1 on 1. He loves Sophia so much, he is so protective of her and even when she is annoying him so much he puts up with it or finds energy to play with her but his world has changed drastically since she came along. It was all about him, walks and playtime and now it’s fitting into Sophia’s world…. and shortly another bubba!
So, what to do about mum guilt? Recently at our Coffee & Cake morning event we had the wonderful Claire from MamaClub speak about how to tackle ‘mum guilt’ and how to turn it into a positive. One thing I took from this is while Sophia is at nursery to spend the day with Frank and give him that undivided attention that he misses when she is around.
With the guilt for Sophia, I am turning it around by using the energy that I gain in that full day on my own to do something on the other days we have together and know she will have a fun-filled week.
In conclusion, we can’t escape the mum guilt, it’s engrained in us and part of our make-up but we can do something about it and make it better by making sure we are aware of it and doing something positive with it.
We would love to hear your ‘mum guilt’ experiences, please get in touch with us in the comments below and let us know how you tackle it.